Waiting in Vain

As a self-employed artist, things can feel awry when you're experiencing a whole lotta "self" and not much of the "employement" side of things.  But as always, things start to look up again once I remember the obvious: I am the employer.  I am in control. So what am I waiting for?

As a recording artist, I create my own work. That doesn't mean that I don't have help: My music is supported by so many talented musicians, producers, writers... and the best husband in the world (fact.). All of whom help me breathe life into my art. So when I say "I create my own work", I simply mean that I have to instigate the work that I wish to bring forth. I have to be my own driver if I want to maintain a satisfying, productive existence.

Sure, my network of artistic friends invite me onto their projects and shows from time to time - I am incredibly grateful for that.  And they are grateful when I do the same. This is something we do for eachother, because we all need one another's gifts and support.  But if we always wait until we were "picked" by someone else before expressing our artistic selves, we become the weak link.  We strengthen the circle of our community by being the creator of something new.

I have learned that I personally must continually express myself or I get bogged down. I get so full of ideas, love and inspiration, that if I don't find or create the opportunities in which to release them, it begins to hurt. It starts to feel like a burden, and all the potentially beautiful art suddenly becomes the bain of my existence.

As of right now? I know I have many, many words and sounds swirled up inside me that need to be released. I've been debating with myself as to how I want to do it this time around... another album? A new song? Or maybe even my first book or musical theatre production! (I felt some of you wince at that last one... sorry, but I really do have a soft spot for this oft-cheesy genre of entertainment :-).

Who knows. What I do know, is that something beautiful happens with every new creation:  I thicken my sense of purpose, I get to share a piece of my soul, I get to connect and collaborate with other souls and I always learn something new about me, about you, and how we affect eachother.

All fancy thoughts aside... I have work to do. Because whatever this next project of mine is, it hasn't fully revealed itself to me as yet.  Perhaps it will be soon, perhaps not-so-soon.  Just know that it's coming. And it will be good :-).

 Lisa Michelle
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"waiting in vain" - bob marley
(my 1st ukelele cover :-P)